The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie & Snippy Show
by funnies88
Summary: When the Itchy & Scratchy Cartoons start losing more and more viewers, they decide to bring back Poochie the not lovable but hip talking dog. This time, they add another character to the gang too. Not very long.


It was a very hot day in Springfield. Bart and Milhouse were enjoying frying eggs on the sidewalk. The rest of the Simpson family was freezing inside the house because the air-conditioner was busted and Homer was too stubborn to fix it. Nelson and the rest of the gang of his were in the Kwiki-Mart buying a dozen Squishies to last them all summer. Krusty the Clown was rushed to the hospital after his artificial pacemaker melted caused by the extreme heat which left the show pretty much boring with only Sideshow Mel there and his "buddy puppets" which were just a pair of his socks that he made into sock puppets.  
  
"Why?" said the owner of the Itchy & Scratchy Cartoons. "Why do I pay you darn writers? On a hot day everyone is supposed to be inside watching our stupid cartoons, not outside playing or at the beach having a good time."  
  
"Well, we try but I guess our shows have started getting too pathetic and with Krusty not there, no one seems to care to watch it," explained Roy, one of the writers.  
  
"Well, what will we do? We can't just keep on talking about this problem until Christmas! We will have to make a change in our show. Something that will attract viewers to watch. But what? No, I know! We will bring back that hip dog named Rookie!"  
  
"Um, sir, that would be Poochie," said Roy.  
  
"Right."  
  
"Well, that's not all. Do you really think this decision is wise? Remember last time?"  
  
"Oh, shut up Roy. I know that last time wasn't the greatest day for the Itchy & Scratchy Cartoons but this time will be different. We won't mess up! I know so. I have an even better idea that will make everyone in Springfield will be sure to watch our show.  
  
"I hope you're right sir, I hope you're right."  
  
Later that week, Homer was reading the newspaper and saw an article that's title read "The Return of a Dog and the Arrival of his Friend". Homer read more. The first few sentences said, "Due to lesser viewers, the Itchy & Scratchy Cartoons Company are bringing back that not so lovable hip talking dog, Poochie. This is the second time they tried to introduce that dog. This time, they are not just bringing back Poochie but welcoming a new character into the pack. It is rumoured to be a fish named Blinky but many think other wise." Just as Homer put down the paper and got up to get another doughnut the doorbell rang. Bart rushed to the door. He opened it and found to men in black suits on the doorstep.  
  
"We want your voice," said one of the men.  
  
"Yes, we want your voice, Homer Simpson," said the other man.  
  
"But I'm not Homer, man!" complained Bart.  
  
"Sure, you're not," said the first man sarcastically.  
  
"Yeah, that's what everybody says," said the other one as he pulled her out of the doorway and pushed her into a big, long black limousine.  
  
They drove him to the Itchy & Scratchy Studios. While he was being driven to the studios, they blindfolded him, even though the studios were right across the road from the box factory where the school always went for their fieldtrips. They took Bart into a room and took off the blindfold. Bart was in the office of the owner.  
  
"Hey you aren't Homer Simpson!" said the owner.  
  
"No duh!" said Bart.  
  
"Wait, I could use you!"  
  
"Use me? Are you a weirdo?!"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"What?" asked Bart.  
  
"No, of course I'm not. I was just saying exactly because you have the perfect voice and attitude for my new character. How 'bout if you work for me? Would you like that?"  
  
"Of course, dude!"  
  
"Good, now where is Homer Simpson?"  
  
"Oh, Homer's still at home. You're big men in black suits drove me here instead of Homer," explained Bart.  
  
"Oh, well, you and you're father, Homer, got the job."  
  
"All right man!"  
  
Through out the week, Bart and Homer went to the studios and worked on the show. This time, the owner made sure the show would be a big success. Nothing would get in the way. The name of Bart's character was a secret, even the type of animal was not being told. On Sunday, the day the new show was being premiered, every family was in front of their television sets. Even Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders were in front of their television sets instead of being at church for Sunday Mass. Krusty was still at the hospital so Sideshow Mel was taking his place. Sideshow Mel finally announced the Itchy & Scratchy Show. As the show came on everyone was got excited. The show cam on and once again the song played "They fight and fight," and then here's when everyone was amazed, "and bark and tweet, fight and fight and bark and tweet, the Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie & Snippy Shoooowww!!!" Everyone screamed, yelled and cheered. Then the cartoon came on. It started with Scratchy tied down and Itchy about to shoot him with a lazer gun. Then suddenly a spaceship shot down and drove itself right into the ground where Scratchy was and killed him. A door from the spaceship opens and out pops Poochie.  
  
"Hey Itchy!" said Poochie. "What's happenin'?"  
  
"Nothing," said Itchy in his annoying voice. "Is anything new with you?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I met this other dude."  
  
"Is he here with you?"  
  
"Yup! Come out here!" yelled Poochie.  
  
Then a little bird with a big head comes out from the spaceship.  
  
"Hey man!" says the little bird named Snippy (Bart's voice). "Let me rap you a song. I come from a world way over there, where we like to call it the west side, west side. We like to put our hands in air, where I used to live on the west side, west side. My momma was a Garzillerot and my daddy was a Kangarian, where I used to live on the west side, west side. Then one day I met a friend named Poochie, where I used to live on the west side, west side. We became great friends and hung out at the bar, where I used to live on the west side, west side. So yesterday we got into the space ship and traveled afar, from the place called the west side, west side. And crashed here on the planet called Earth, away from the west side, west side."  
  
"You made up that whole rap song all for me?" asked Itchy.  
  
"That's not all. I decided to bring you a present."  
  
"Really? Where is it?"  
  
"Right here!"  
  
Snippy pulled out a dual shock automatic handgun with 100% accuracy and shot Itchy with it. Itchy was burnt to a crisp. Snippy slapped Poochie's hand and then the cartoon ended. Everyone was amazed! That was one of the best episodes they ever saw. Everybody clapped, cheered or whistled as they showed the ending credits until they saw the preview scene for next week. It showed a scene of Itchy, Scratchy and Snippy but no more Poochie. Where would Poochie have gone? Bart and Homer didn't even know. Then it said the Itchy, Scratchy & Snippy Show. This made everyone furious especially Homer because they just killed off his character. Everyone was mad because Poochie was like the one who tied everything together but without him the show would be missing something. So everyone started hating the show including Homer and Bart.  
  
Eventually, the Itchy & Scratchy Cartoons went back to normal. They started playing the classic episodes of the Itchy & Scratchy Show. It turned out almost like it did when they first introduced the character Poochie except this time two characters were killed off the show. 


End file.
